About authentic life
My throat is on fire and I completely lost my voice. I haven't slept properly for 3 days because I cough constantly. It's frustrating, painful and uncomfortable. I am struggling.
I don't have the mood to be positive today so I don't know how this post will turn out.
I ordered some food so while I am waiting I want to share some thoughts on the topic that has been on my mind.
Basically, due to one conversation that happened this week I have started to think what does it mean to be authentic and living an authentic life.
According to the Cambridge dictionary, when we talk about being authentic as personal integrity, it can be defined as “a person acting without pretense and staying true to their own identity, values, or voice.”
Is it possible to 100% stay true to ourselves? If yes, what kind of feeling does it produce? Happiness? Satisfaction? Peace? Maybe not all the time, because when we say NO, we let people down, we disappoint and hurt them.
Moreover, we can lose them and be lonely again. And nobody wants that, right?
What kind of role does fear of loneliness and losing things play in our decision‑making? We stay in unhealthy relationships and miserable jobs because NO means that we could end up with nothing. Is “nothing” better than pretending that we are okay? Is “nothing” the scariest thing that can happen in life?
What will happen if we don't allow people to walk over us, treat us badly, use us for whatever kind of reason? What will happen if we set boundaries to how helpful, patient, and willing we are going to be in personal and professional life?
I don't think it is easy to be authentic. How many times we just bite our tongue, let go, make ourselves small, stay for too long...
I am just very curious about how it feels to finally have the “audacity” to stop putting other people and work as a priority when they don't treat us as a priority at all. How life changes when we start listening to ourselves, what we need and want. And if life changes at all actually.
I am very fascinated by Asian cultures, especially how we live in opposite concepts of collectivism versus individualism. In Asian countries, people are often raised to do everything for the higher good of the society, family, or company. They have to make themselves so tiny, but that is unsustainable and unbearable for mental health. On the other hand, they may perceive us Europeans sometimes as selfish, careless, and disrespectful.
I truly believe that every single person matters and only then we can create a society that matters.
We can look at learning to be assertive as an act of selfishness or also as starting a new chapter. A chapter that will free us from living life according to other people, giving our time and energy where it is not reciprocated, sitting in rooms where we are suffocating instead of breathing calmly.
One day, I want to be free from all of that.